The greatest love of my life will always be my dad; no hesitation. My dog is a close second, and I met someone over two years ago who I thought would be the third greatest love of me life.

Of course it turns out he wasn’t and I suffered the cliche heartbreak, complete with devastation and uncertainty.

I had just turned 30 and thought he was the one. He told me his grand scheme involved me, and maybe he even meant it once but I’d forgotten people have free will and can change their minds.
He left for medical rotations throughout the country, said he would be back in a month. While he was away he saw greener grass, everyone knows how the story goes.

Except me. I was in disbelief and fought for what felt like endless months trying to repair the broken relationship, we cried and talked and it went on and on.
I’m a borderline personality, and my codependency was starting to turn darker and I was growing sicker and unhealthier by the day. For the hell of it, I eventually bought myself a one way ticket to London and a return ticket from Paris. I took off two weeks from work, booked a single seat on a tour bus and I did the complete opposite of what I felt like doing.
On my second to last night in Paris, I went on a date with a boy. We went to the top of the Eiffel Tower then walked along the Seine to the Latin Quarter and split a bottle of Bordeaux at a small, smoky cafe. He went to walk me home and it started to rain. He pulled me under the awning of the nearest store and we had our first kiss, right there.
Now I love this boy. He’s been supportive, understanding, unbelievably kind. He could turn out to be the fourth love of me life, for sure. Right after myself.

In Paris I learned you have to make yourself the love of your own goddamned life first. Well, after dads and dogs anyway.

Julie Solecki was born in Buffalo, NY in 1986. She has one sister, one dog, and one dad and she works at a law firm in Philadelphia.

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