Ms. Fortune’s Guide To Dating Ms. Fortune

Here are a few easy steps to understanding how to date me:

1. I refuse to show weakness. This includes, but is not limited to:

  • Showing that I am hurt or asking to receive special treatment because I am in pain.
  • Asking for help when I don’t know the answer to something or when I feel as though I cannot physically accomplish a task.
  • Putting up with a toxic or destructive situation for far longer than necessary.

2. I love challenges, but refuse to admit when I’m defeated or need assistance. Challenges include, but are not limited to:

  • Relationships, romantic or otherwise
  • Work-related
  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Soduku
  • Any sort of competition where I can win

3. I hate same-siders.

  • I don’t care if you’re Prince Harry or Harry Potter – you sit on your side of the table and I will sit on mine.

4. I cry. A lot. Tear production can be created by, but is not limited to, these situations:

  • Anything to do with a puppy
  • Watching BIG FISH, GLADIATOR, or MOULIN ROUGE
  • Any of the Budweiser Clydesdale commercials
  • Greeting cards or sentimental letters
  • Her family
  • Puppies

5. I will never let you see me cry. 

6. I have no idea how to take a compliment, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Compliments include, but are not limited to:

  • Anything related to my body, face, or general appearance
  • Anything related to my work performance
  • Anything related to who I am as a person
  • Anything related to my creative process or outcome
  • Anything related to “sexiness” or “attractiveness”

7. The people in my life mean the world to me, but loyalty means more.

  • This means that once you have entered my life, you are important to me
  • Don’t fuck up

8. I am still learning. Lessons I am learning include, but are not limited to:

  • Allowing a man to open the door for me
  • Realizing I can’t do it all by myself
  • How to make the perfect guacamole
  • Asking for help
  • Whether to listen to my head, my heart, or my gut

9. I believe that all people deserved to be loved.

  • I still have to remind myself that I deserve it, too

10. Honesty, Communication, and Sweet Potato Fries

  • These are the keys to my heart.

You up for the challenge?

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